Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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