So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.