My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
We got so high we made milksteak
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.