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• (631): View more from New York

  Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?

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• (352): View more from Florida

  I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.

  (904): View more from Florida

  You stay classy.

  (352): View more from Florida

  The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.

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  17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (937): View more from Ohio

  Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!

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• (216): View more from Ohio

  So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.

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• (907): View more from Alaska

  I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?

  (810): View more from Michigan

  shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you

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• (239): View more from Florida

  No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.

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• 

  These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (336): View more from North Carolina

  If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.

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• (438): View more from Quebec

  Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.

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• (231): View more from Michigan

  It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.

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• (562): View more from California

  Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.

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• (339): View more from Massachusetts

  this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can

  (1-908): View more from New Jersey

  Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk

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