what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?