I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
