It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
