Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
