i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
