Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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