1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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