She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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