No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
