oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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