The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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