cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
