its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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