found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I think my vagina is haunted
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
