if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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