im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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