do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
