she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
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