Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
You need a sexual gate keeper
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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