Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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