stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
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Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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