Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
