i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
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i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
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After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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