Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Randomize