Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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