I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
