Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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