I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize