DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Drunk is not a location!
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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