I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
