I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
