you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
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