absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
She said her name was "party"
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
