well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Vodka?
Forever.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
