I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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