Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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