puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
