Me too!
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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