she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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