ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
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