I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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