rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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