So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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