You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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