so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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