He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Randomize
