she takes plan B like it's going out of style
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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