bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize