Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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