why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
