It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
