They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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