i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
