You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
