Only a mothe r could love this liver
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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