I must be too annoying 4 u.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
